Dear People of the Gym

Ah, the gym. One of the only places where you can pay to sweat within uber-close proximity to complete strangers. Usually this results in good things like weight loss and stress relief, but occasionally it can be quite aggravating. Maybe I was just in a funk or something, but yesterday was one of those days for me, so I decided to write a little open letter to the people of the gym (almost sounds like it can be an old cheesy horror movie title, no?).

Dear Janitor With Questionable Sanitation Practices, 

I see you. I see you over there wiping down every single piece of equipment with the same damn rag. While I appreciate your dedication to evenly distributing ringworm throughout the gym, your sanitary measures (or lack thereof) make me want to bathe in a vat of hand sanitizer at the end of my workout, or fear contracting Ebola. I can only hope you have a separate rag reserved for the bathrooms. I'm itchy.

Dear People Who Like To Use Multiple Pieces Of Equipment At Once,

"Oh, I'm using that." [I get up and move down a machine] "Oh, I'm using that one too." Um, no you're not. I'm glad that you enjoy circuit training and it is a great workout, but you do realize your name is not on the front of this building right? You have to shaaaare. I know this a really hard concept to wrap your head around, but you can't section off a corner of the gym for your personal use because other people pay to use it too. 

Dear Woman Who Wears Overly Provocative Clothing, Has Perfectly Quaffed Hair And A Full Face Of Makeup, 

Just, why? I get that you're just trying (too hard) to pick up your next sugar daddy and I respect that, but seriously. We all know that you aren't here to sweat and you're keeping me from using the equipment I need to finish my workout. Not to mention, please consider the risks involved with using that cable machine with your long hair down like that - you're going to end up scalping yourself and that is not a cute look. You may want to put that shizz up...or better yet, can't you just go elsewhere to get your bills paid? I've heard great things about sugardaddy.com. 

Ok, rant over. I can just go on and on about the crazy things others do at the gym that irk me, but I'll save them for another post! What kind of things get on your last nerve when you hit the gym?

x's,